My goal is to help people find and follow Jesus, all while I'm still trying to do that myself. I won't pretend I have the answers; in fact, I think I generally have more questions than anything else. What I do know is that I learn best by discussing with fellow believers what it is that God is telling us through scripture and hearing about their journeys as they grow in their own faiths. I am looking forward to sharing this journey with you, sharing my life experiences, and learning along the way.
I've always had a strange connection to the Lord, and I've always wanted to know more about Him. When I was little, I built a Jesus shrine in my bedroom so I could worship and forced my parents to play church with me... :) My faith has continued to grow over the years, with a few bumps in the road. In college, I was lost spiritually and was so consumed in my worldly thoughts and desires, that I couldn't see the Lord. The devil recognized that and continued to feed into those thoughts. I made excuses why I shouldn't go to church. I didn't follow God's will. I questioned his existence extensively, and even more so as I went farther along through college. At the time, religion seemed so "archaic" and "silly". The Aztecs truly believed in their gods too; they killed people as sacrifices to them! Everyone believes in their gods...how did I know what I was taught was right? Then, one of my absolute favorite professors said one day how silly and foolish he thought religions were and how he was an atheist. I couldn't believe it. Here was one of the smartest people I'd ever known slamming religion. I went through a phase of wondering whether or not I was an atheist too, but I couldn't ever bring myself to say those words about myself.
After my husband and I got married, we still weren't listening to God's voice as we should, yet we acknowledged His presence and existence. We still wanted to pursue our own passions and our own desires...I actually remember thinking that "God is all forgiving, he'll forgive me for this someday". What a horrible thought....
It wasn't until I got pregnant that I started to realize the magnitude of the power of our Lord. Wow. When I felt that baby move, when I saw the tiny heartbeat on the screen...I knew that this world didn't just exist by coincidence or luck. It's not possible. Science is nothing without our God.
I chose to give birth naturally with no pain medication. It was the most challenging thing that I've ever done, but also the most enlightening experience I've ever had. It's almost like an out of body experience to be in so much pain. It was then that I truly felt God with me. I felt his support, his presence, his love as I struggled through the long labor and hours of pushing. He was there. I know it. I felt it. There was no turning back from that point.
After that, he fell silent, but now I knew. I committed to making sure that my little boy would grow up to be a follower of this Lord, this comforter. In order to teach my son to be a follower of Jesus, though, I had to know more about the faith I was claiming to profess.
It was at this point that I started our small group, Friends in Faith, and my faith really grew. Reading scripture brought me into a deeper relationship with the Lord, and I can't help now but share it with others. My life is intertwined with my faith; there is no separation. I live to serve God because He has given me my life. I follow Jesus's footsteps and aim to lead of life that can resemble His as much as I humanly can.
I was able to feel God's presence again at the birth of my second child. Her birthday fell the day after Easter, and as I labored and experienced that immense pain once again, I imagined Jesus's pain as he died on the cross. He got through it. He made it. I could do it too. The whole experience brings tears to my eyes once again; this God we worship is so good. He has been so good to me, even though I haven't always been good to Him.
Of course, I still have questions and the devil sometimes controls my thoughts more often than I'd like to admit. But my journey towards becoming closer to God is the most important thing in my life, followed by my dear family. I can only continue to pray that God will use me for His purposes so that He might be glorified through me.
To God be the glory forever.
Check Out Posts on These Topics: